and you pretend to be high and mighty

Nazri recently got me hooked on Motion City Soundtrack. Unsurprising, since their songs are all rather emo (about shitty life) and well, you know me. Talking about shitty lives, you know, Mr Sas just about summed everyone's lives up when he talked about existentialism during Lit lecture on Friday. You are born, become a teenager, enter adulthood, start a family, grow old and die. About 6 stages of your life pretty much summarised. One never knows when their life would fast forward to the last stage, and one would also never know when they are getting to the last stage when they so desperately seek for it (aka Plath-esque style)

Looking back at the past 18+ years of my life, soon to be 19 in less than 5 months, I think I have accomplished nothing. Everything just went through my life as it should be, finishing my education (soon), friends coming and going, some relatives passing away, etc. I guess it's the same for everyone, just that it hasn't struck a lot of people yet. Now I know why there are existentialists. Simply put, we are born to die, and whatever we do in the process in between birth and death is what defines us, but why the hell should you care. You can get 4 A's for your A' levels, get knocked down by a car, and off to heaven you go(hell for most of us). I can get 4 U's for A's, get Bill Gates as my godfather, and then outlive you by 50 years, beat that dude. What I am putting across is, the meaning and essence in our lives are ultimately dependent on what we do, yes, but what's paradoxical is that what we do does not matter at all. Not one single bit. Ultimately, how happy your life is is how happy you want it to be. One can never achieve perfection, nor be liked by everyone in the world. To try to achieve either (or both for some) is a fundamentally flawed dream that not only leads most people to achieve the opposite, they often self destruct in the process. Talk about Lear please.

But of course, you can argue that how happy you can get is dependent on how many people in the world like you. Geez. So the point of our existence is to please people so that we ourselves can be happy. Lol, talk about extreme irony. So the essence of your life lies in how much you're doing to increase your popularity in the world for your own happiness. Talk about hypocrisy and self-centredness and superficiality kthx.

I can't deny I myself am living such a life as well (haha thus making all that I said above possibly irrelevant) but oh dude, don't give me the crap that you aren't. Therefore, after making such a pointless speech as the one above, I consider myself a philosophical existentialist.

// sq the philosophical existentialist signing off to do pointless homework //